Oh, hello. Did I mention that el Pirate and I got bmx bikes? It's true. I haven't owned a bmx bike since probably 1985, which was probably the year that Li'l Dave was born, so needless to say, I don't know what the hell I'm doing. That being said, bmx bikes are fun. They're like riding Ali's mountain bike but smaller, heavier, and featuring platform pedals. And while I'm sure the only thing more exciting about reading about my exploits in a Cat 4 road race is reading about tricks I tried, but failed to do on a bmx bike, I will save those tales for another time. Instead, I'll outline my program for success. Since a lot of talented professional cyclists come from a bmx background, I think I can learn some skills that translate to other forms of cycling (and possibly some life-lessons, too). Therefore, I've set the following goals (in no particular order):
1) Learn to bunnyhop. It'd be cool on a bmx bike but would be really fun to break out in a cyclocross race.
2) Learn to corner. While mountain biking, I like to brake a lot in the middle of corners. This is supposedly not cool and bmxing should help me to stop.
3) Not die.
4) Not get beat up by punk kids. I've been road biking for years and have been made fun of by everyone from kids to the elderly, so ridicule doesn't much faze me anymore. But if a bunch of teenagers see a poser (me) on a bmx bike, there is a chance that they'll decide that I am not cool and should be informed of this not with words, but with their fists. As mentioned, I road bike a lot and have a weak upper body so, yes, kids could beat me up.
5) Watch a double feature of "Rad" and "BMX Bandits".
6) Acquire more bikes. The catch is to acquire new bikes with very specific characteristics such that no current bike I own would quite work, therefore making the new bike a necessity.
7) Not injure myself in a way that would prevent me from other forms of cycling.
8) Not tell my mother that I've bought a bmx bike and have been riding it around downtown Durham at night.
9) Not have to tell my mother that I've injured myself on a bmx bike I had been riding around downtown Durham at night.
10) Never use the term "shreddin' the gnar".
11) Blog sparingly about shreddin' the gnar.