busted

looks like collegiate athletic violations aren't just for Memphis and UNC anymore. not long after our beloved smAli shows up at Princeton, this news drops. Okay, so it's about tennis and not fixed-gear political science, but I suspect something's up.

Meanwhile in NC, it good to see that the anti-doping efforts in the barely-pro world of domestic cycling are paying off with bringing down an Asheville dude. Okay, so its for THC and not EPO, which I don't even counts as "recreational" in places like Asheville, but rules are rules. However, since they do offer therapeutic use exemptions (TUEs) for certain banned substances, it seems reasonable that they could offer a LUE (lifestyle use exemption) allowing residents of certain areas to enjoy common chemicals that aren't likely to actually enhance performance. Boulder residents are exempted for drug tests for weed (every resident of California already has a TUE in the form of a "prescription" from a quacky doctor), Portland residents have no maximum limit on caffeine levels, New Jersey residents are allowed to test positive for nicotine and Drakkar Noir and are actually required to test positive for Valtrex before entering an event. Durhamites might would of course be exempted from off-the-charts cholesterol levels and alcohol, but there don't appear to be any restrictions in the UCI rulebook about these. The Swiss rulemasters don't seem to care about our intake of hogfat and Krispy Kremes and are only concerned about drinking in certain events:

P1. ALCOHOL

Alcohol (ethanol) is prohibited In-Competition only, in the following sports. Detection will be conducted by analysis of breath and/or blood. The doping violation threshold (haematological values) is 0.10 g/L.

Aeronautic (FAI)

Archery (FITA)

Automobile (FIA)

Karate (WKF)

Modern Pentathlon (UIPM) for disciplines involving shooting

Motorcycling (FIM)

Ninepin and Tenpin Bowling (FIQ)

Powerboating (UIM)

Logically, you don't want drunk people doing competitive motorsports on land, air, or sea while wasted. Similar getting drunk and shooting things and/or kicking one another in the head is a swell activity to do in North Carolina, but we shouldn't have our athletes doing it. Most perplexingly on the list is bowling. I mean, they let cyclists drink champagne on the final stage of the Tour de France and all cyclorossers are drunk all the time. I guess for most endurance bicycle racing, if you were drunk you'd get ill before anything really bad happened, and for gravity cycling, well, something bad will probably happen anyway, but it'll probably only happen to you and a nearby tree or port-a-potty. And yet somehow bowling makes the list. There must be a good story behind this one but it will take some clever sleuthing to get to the bottom of it...